Every kid hears this question when they are growing up. "What do you want to be?" As a little kid, we have aspirations of growing up to become football players and princesses, astronauts and doctors, firefighters and singers. The list goes on. In high school, we have to decide what we are going to do for the rest of our lives. And if you don't, you have about 2 years of college to figure it out before you need to start cracking.
Now the six years we are given are filled with more than choices about this. We have relationships with others, school, activities, and the time a teenager needs to chill. Ask any regular high school kid if there is alot of pressure in high school, and I promise 99% of them will say yes. Friends, enemies, studying, sports, breakups, makeups. There are alot of things to worry about. On top of this, we have to be deciding what we are going to do for the next 50 some years. I think that's a big thing to ask of a kid. But billions of kids have, are, and will be doing this for the rest of time. That's not the problem.
As we go into our high school years, the question turns from "What do you want to be?" to "What are you going to be?". Most of us lose those magical dreams of becoming far fetched things, and settle for things we can be content with. Gone are the days of rockstar, and in are the days of teacher. And I know alot of people that are happy about that. I'm not.
I feel envious of the kids that have what they want to be nailed down. A kid wants to be a lawyer, well they know they have to go to a good college, and study hard, and then they take to the field. Even the kids who don't care can say, "Well, I can always get a job and clock in my hours.". They know what they're going to be too. But then there are the kids like me. The kids that aren't sure of what to do. I'll speak for myself on this one.
Life can give me alot of things, all I want though is to be happy. If I can do that, I could be the poorest man, but will look back at my life as a success. Obviously 50+ years of my life make up the majority of it. The thought of having to go through a regular mundane job for it does not make me happy. I am the type of guy that wants to change the world, and to have an adventure everyday. I want my job to be exciting, thrilling. I want to be the guy who goes to his kids "Career Day" and steal the imaginations of little kids. I want to have a job where I get up an hour early just because I'm so excited for it. I want a job that will make me happy. But that comes with a price.
Most of the jobs that I am currently thinking of take a great deal of uncertainty. Yes being a lawyer is uncertain, but you have the chance to join a major corporation as a fall back with your degree in a wide field. Not so for the jobs I want. Take a Robotic Engineer. First off, what school do I go to for that? Then once I'm done, what do I do next? Create my own company? Find someone to work for? Then what? Or a director. If I want to be a High School play director, I have to get credentials that make me show how good I am, but how can I get credentials if I am not given a lucky break? The same goes for all the other jobs I want. Work at JPL, screenwriter, author, special effects artist, next host of Mythbusters(someone has to replace them right?) The list goes on.
Whenever I see or hear someone ask what I want to be when I grow up, I get scared. Like the guy on the cars.com commercial. You know, the one that does amazing things, but the simple process of buying a car makes him sweat balloons? I just wish there was some magical website to go that would do the same for my problems. (Life, there's an app for that.)
This has been on my mind recently alot as I prepare for finals and think about keeping my 4.0 and college and what not. What good is a Full Ride if I don't know what to do with it? I guess I am worried about alot right now, as I should be. I have 3 years left before I need to decide where to take my life. Right now I have no idea. And I will say what others aren't.
What do you want to be when you grow up?
I have no idea what I want to be when I grow up. There are millions of jobs out there, but only some that I really want. They are hard to come by, and it takes a great deal of skill to achieve. I am not ready to decide what I want to be, but I have to. But with no one to help me, its a decision I have to make on my own.
And I'm afraid.
